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Thursday, March 24, 2011

Magic 8-Ball predicts the future

So many things going on in the news, I thought I'd consult my trusty Magic 8 Ball to delve deep into the mysteries of the universe and give clarity in a world seemingly getting worse by the week.

So as many of you know, the way the magic 8 ball works is this- you ask a Yes/No question and shake the ball--  then turn and one of 20 various responses appear..

Current events:

Will the US involvement in Libya be long term? - "You may rely on it"

Will US involvement be very expensive? -  "Yes- definitely"

Is the US involved in Libya primarily for oil? - "Outlook Good"

Will NATO be successful in goal to remove Gaddafi?-  "Reply hazy, Try again"

Will bankers and investors profit from Japan? - "Signs point to yes"

Will Portugal go to IMF and beg for a loan soon? - "Yes"

Will the global markets rise for no logical reason? - "Most likely"

Is there anything everyday people can do to stop it? - "My reply is no"


America -

Is America a good nation?-  "Better not tell you now"

Are the American people good? - "Outlook Good"

Are America's leaders' good? - "Ask again later"

Does America's leaders care about its people? - "Don't count on it"

Are Americans a caring people? - "Most likely"

Are American investors caring people? - "My sources say No"

Are Americans moral, ethical people?  - "Yes"

Are America's leaders moral and ethical? - "Very doubtful"

Are America's finance community moral & ethical?  "Don't count on it"


Obama:

Is Obama a good president?  -  "Better not tell you now"

Is Obama a good leader?  -  "Reply Hazy, try again"

Does Obama care about people? - "Ask again later"

Does Obama deserve his Nobel Peace Prize? - "My reply is no"

Will Obama give the prize back? -  "Don't count on it"


Current Recession:

Is the recession the fault of America's people?  - "My sources say no"

Is the recession the fault of Europe's people? - "My reply is no"

Is it the fault of Asian or Latin American people? - "My reply is no"

Is it the fault of Africans or Australians? - "Very doubtful"

Is a specific ethnicity or religion responsible? - "Very doubtful"

Are greedy banks and traders/investors responsible?-  "As I see it, yes"

So, is it American traders/investors alone? -  "Very doubtful"

So global bankers, traders and investors caused the recession? -  "Yes"

Do bankers have souls? -  "Reply hazy, try again"

(Again) Do bankers have souls? - "My sources say no"


~ The Magic 8 ball needs its rest

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