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Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Mailbag Q & A: July 11/12, 2012

Well its that time again-- a feature we do every month or so -- Mailbag Q & A...

This time we only will respond to questions posed by famous or wealthy people because we all know they should have preferential treatment in all aspects of life including this site..    Sorry 99% 

* This post if you haven't noticed already, is satirical and at times sarcastic in tone but the specific questions posed are things we believe most of you care about and we try to provide honest, sincere responses...  

To break up this post,  we added pictures of lovely blue irises... enjoy~

So, onto the first question...

Q:  'I am the leader of a really big country.. I don't wish to say which nation but let's just say we love our flag almost as much as spreading democracy across the globe...  Anyways, I am in a tough re-election campaign and wonder what do I need to do to get me over the top in November?' --  "Barry"

A:  Be Honest.  No, really... Be HONEST.   You weren't in 2008 and yet still won, but times are different now.  As much as you may try, you are Not running vs George W. Bush anymore.  You're really not running vs Romney either... 

Your main opponent is yourself; the person many thought you were 4 years ago; a man who was against Wall St, against the Big Banks, against the wealth inequality which is destroying this nation.  
Your supporters thought you'd be different than Bush.. you sincerely were the same on economic and military policy issues.  Your supporters are with you half-heartedly now, mainly because to them, you're the better alternative.  Pretty depressing way to follow an election...

So be Honest if you are capable... explain how bad the economy really is...  express why so little has been done and don't shift the blame to Republicans..  Admit failure and express a new course of action in your 2nd term... one that punishes Wall St instead of props them up..  And express realistic job-creation solutions.

Be Honest, admit Failure and establish a new vision-- you will win easy.

Q:  'I am currently running neck and neck with the President to see who will lead the nation in 2013 and beyond.  I've raised a lot of cash but not a lot of excitement even among my base and I am concerned as bad as the economy is, that I may lose in November... What do I need to do to defeat the President?' -- "Mittens"

A:  Appreciate the question.. this is a toughie and which will require total and blunt honesty from us.. We hope you can take it and more importantly Do it...

First, while President Obama has been essentially Wall Street's bitch for the last four years, you Are Wall St; you represent everything horrible and deviant about it.  

You can say what you wish but the purpose of Bain Capital was to buy up companies under the guise you were going to improve upon them, then fire everyone and break the companies bought up into little pieces at a great profit.
We don't know honestly how you do it, but somehow you have got to express a vilification of Wall St. and make it believable.  Perhaps promise on a stack of bibles that if elected you will direct your Attorney General to arrest the heads of Bank of America, JP Morgan Chase, CitiBank, Goldman Sachs, AIG, etc for their roles in the 2008 crash.  That would be a good starting point.

Second, a few months back you openly admitted you care nothing about the poor.  You stated your sole focus was the middle class.  What a moronic position-- you get points for honesty yet not many...

Here's a news flash:  poor people vote too.  They're perfectly capable and together make up a large statistical demographic.  They tend not to because they're not motivated-- the poor know Reps & Dems equally don't give a damn about them..

So perhaps promise on a stack of bibles that if elected President you will provide tax relief for them; specifically that no individual making $25k or less pays income tax.   Every $100 that a working poor person has to pay in income tax is equivalent to a wealthy person paying out $1 million.   That is survival $$

We understand you believe in a cult-like faith (no disrespect but it is) but if you embraced genuine Judeo-Christian compassion, charity and concern for those most unfortunate, you'd be successful in this election and overall, a better man.

We have other suggestions how to not only win but get this nation on track but unfortunately we don't see you  implementing any of them... 

So we'll move on to the next question...
Q: 'Where do you see the stock market and I guess by extension the overall economy in the next 6-12 months?  Personally I am always bullish though I know to some, it tends to sound kinda bull-shitty..' -- His Excellency Mr. Buffett, Esq..

A:  When people turn on the news or read the papers in January, 2013 the talk will be how the US is officially back in recession.  Of course we never left it but the next six months will be bad enough domestically and globally that everyone will know the real deal by Christmas.

As for stocks, you do know if not for Fed interference, the Dow would be currently around 7,500..  OK, just checking..  We predict stocks will keep dropping as companies continually miss projections during this current earnings season..  This, along with continually poor jobs numbers will trigger QE3 officially in September.

The traders and Investors will be excited but you all shouldn't.   When QE1 was implemented in March 2009, it resulted in the market spiking upwards of 75% from its Pre-Lehman numbers of Sept. 2008.. then it dropped 10-15%.   This triggered QE2 in 2010... the bounce wasn't as high-- 50%.. then it dropped 10-15%..

"Operation Twist" which in simple terms is mini-QE was used on two separate occasions including last month-- the bounce quite minimal and non-sustaining..  

See where we're going with this?

There's also Europe to consider-- its a powder keg..  Greece, Spain, etc... A Eurozone being held together with scotch tape, Elmer's glue and A LOT of lying to its populaces...

We do not expect this autumn to be much fun.

Last question...
Q:  'In your opinion has there been any good news or 'positives' in the economy, either domestically or globally?  Certainly there's some good news out there, right?'  - His Excellency, Bozo the Clown, Esq

A:  Hmmm...     thinking...  Ummm..   Hmmmm...

There's a popular dry humor quip that goes like this:  'When your (neighbor, friend, etc..) loses their job, its a 'recession' and when you lose yours, it is called a 'Depression'.    So if you still have your job, then that's really super good news isn't it...

Umm...    let's see.. what else...

As the mainstream news likes to say to distract people from reality, it could always be worse right?  At least the US isn't feeling hardships like Ireland and Spain right?   And at least they aren't feeling it like Greece...  And the Grecians...  we kinda ran out of straws to grasp...

Of course eventually in time we all will be feeling Greece-like economic effects and when this occurs Greece will have gotten so bad, the best way to explain is to dust off your copy of Dante's 'Inferno'

The truth is we want to be positive at A&G. Specifically we want to report positive news; policies implemented that truly address the problems built up over decades.  We want to report real solutions, and we'd love to report punishments and retributions toward the financial elite.

But there's little to none of it..  44 months after Lehman.. barely nothing new.  Nothing got fixed.  In other words, how can one expect a squeaky chair to stop squeaking if no one applied any grease?  And it will keep squeaking and squeaking until people actually stand up and demand it.
It hasn't happened yet..  

But its getting close.. look at the reaction in Spain today to a proposed value-added-tax on goods and services to a whopping 21%!

 The cries for change are closer than ever before.. and That's your good news.