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Friday, September 21, 2012

Top 20 Annual TV Celebrity Salaries

People have a strange love/hate relationship with the famously wealthy.  On one hand, people greatly admire and respect those with extreme wealth; they put otherwise unexceptional people on pedestals, and gaze adoringly from below..  On other hand, there's jealousy and resentment as if, "How dare someone get to make that much $$ for doing so little.."

We really are in neither camp-- We just look at the super-wealthy as little bugs scurrying about to make as much money as possible for insecure or egocentric reasons while ignoring priorities like their family and friends then bellowing to expensive psychiatrists as to why they're still so unhappy and unfulfilled...

So, no matter which camp you're in-- those who admire, resent or take pity on wealthy celebs, its still interesting to find out how much they make in yearly salary especially since unlike athletes and movie actors, TV stars like to keep their salaries hidden.

So based on reported numbers from TV Guide, The Washington Post, and The Daily Beast, here's a Top 20 list of the highest annual salaries for TV stars with some mean but sincere jabs included.  (We're sure to upset at times but remember if you disagree, you're welcome to start your own blog)

Top 20 List:
1)  Judge Judy Sheindlin -- $45million

Her syndicated court room show not only makes her the highest-paid person on television, but also the 13th richest woman in entertainment, according to Forbes.  Quite a nice salary to be a cantankerous bitch

2)  Simon Cowell -- $40 million

Based on 'X Factor' and 'American Idol'... If not for these two shows, FOX's prime time lineup would be unwatchable crap aimed at teenagers..  Hmm, wait.. Then again...

3)  David Letterman -- $28 million

Being genuinely unfunny and a smug jerk also pays.  Nice to see David suffered no financial repercussions for his previous long-term sexual affair with one of his 'Late Show' staffers while married..

4)  Matt Lauer -- $21.5 Million


 TV Guide's business editor, Stephen Battaglio told The Daily Beast Lauer, “Matt is central to [Today]—if he left, ratings would plummet and NBC would lose at least $100-125 million in ad revenue,"  Swear to God, if not for hosting the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, his name and face would draw a blank to yours truly..
5-7)  Tie: Judge Joe Brown -- $20 Million
                Kelly Ripa
                Bill O'Reilly

Brown's courtroom show has been on syndicated TV for over a decade..  No commentary on him-- hard to speak about someone you've hardly ever heard of or watched.. Ripa was earning $5 million more than her old co-host Regis before he left.  That's a nice bump to get rid of a bore like Regis.   O'Reilly got a raise, doubling his salary from last year and extending his contract through 2016.

8)  Mariah Carey -- $18 Million

Carey will be getting $18 mill to be a celebrity judge.  We're really not sure what show she will be judging.. We hadn't heard of any reality show in the works called "I Too Can Dress Like A Whore".

9)  Jon Stewart -- $16 Million

Last May, his Comedy Central show pulled in higher ratings than all of Fox News.  Funny how Com. Cent. was willing to pay Dave Chappelle $50mill to keep him yet Stewart 'only' gets $18mill?   Those cheap bastards... 

10-14)  Tie: Jay Leno -- $15 Million
                    Ryan Seacrest
                    Britney Spears
                    Howard Stern
                    Sean Hannity

Leno's salary was actually $30mil but he volunteered to give back 50% of it to keep NBC from laying off workers.  Yes we know Leno is still rolling in dough but we don't see that piece of shit Letterman doing it.
As for Seacrest, Spears and Stern (he's actually worth much, much more when you consider his Sirius Radio deal), all are connected to 'become the next star' based reality programming.  Of the three, Britney is the most annoying because in all honesty, she is a complete utter loser with deep mental issues (currently being controlled via Rx) and not deserving of this financial opportunity presented to her.

No, not too subtle were we...

Hannity is distinct from pretty much everyone on this list...  While every wealthy TV celebrity listed here really does not give a Damn how the bottom 99% live and couldn't be bothered yet Pretends they care, Hannity is distinct in that he doesn't.

15)  Ashton Kutcher -- $14 Million

Kutcher holds the title for highest-paid actor on television banking $700,000 per episode on "Two and a Half Men.".  Good thing he divorced Demi Moore right before accepting the role or he might have had to split half with her, and that wouldn't have been a smart business move would it...

16)  Brian Williams -- $13 Million

NBC's News Anchor.. We give him a pass because he's shown he doesn't take himself too seriously... Still, $13 mill to read words off cue-cards?   Where do we sign up for That?
17-20)  Tie:  Jon Cryer -- $12 Million
                     Conan O' Brien
                     Mark Harmon
                     Diane Sawyer

Cryer... other half of "Two and a Half Men"..  Just Amazing-- Amazing that someone as genuinely unfunny and uninteresting as Cryer makes that much money To understand how low on the acting totem-pole Cryer once was, in the late 1980s he appeared in a horrible film called 'Superman 4: The Quest for Peace'..  Don't pretend you've seen it...

Conan-- Honestly not worth more than $20,000 but he did a really good job of milking the victimization card after he failed to bring in the ratings NBC thought he would when doing the "Tonight Show".. So he snookered TBS to hire him.. Yay for him.. Not so yay for the dismal 1.2 ratings

Mark Harmon we genuinely like so with admitted bias, we don't begrudge him his salary. Double standard, we know... That said, we've honestly never sat through a full episode of NCIS though.. Ugh the nauseating constant camera motion... We're serious, the camera does not stay still for 2 seconds!  

As for Diane Sawyer, Yay to her... Nice to see a woman who looks over 70yrs old get 'paid'

~  Have a good weekend :-)