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Thursday, October 18, 2012

Wanting To Be Hired; Just Not Wanting to Work

People are funny creatures.. They.. oops, I mean We sure are..

We want jobs so badly when unemployed yet once hired, for the most part we hate what we do so much, that we bitch about it and wish we didn't work at all.

We all need to eat.. pay our bills of course..

So we put up with quite a boatload of nonsense:

Perfecting and tailoring each resume and cover-letter to be sent out to each company... So much time and care and consideration spent on something to be emailed or even worse, faxed to what is probably a dimly lit back-office within the bowels (and small colon) of Human Resources that is visited once a week at minimum..

Had a job once a while ago where yours truly saw it first hand.. a fax machine in the far corner of the office ringing every minute or two.. And while there'd be faxes of job applications and resumes all strewn about on the floor, no new faxes would be added to the pile in spite of the constant rings.. Well how could it?  No one bothered to re-fill the fax paper...
And thus the empty calls we make if lucky enough to have numbers to call.. and the endless follow up calls..  "Hi, we spoke last week.. Oh, you don't remember me.. well we spoke and.. just wondering if you had looked at my... oh, you have another call.. um.. I'll hold, sure... Hi again.. no I didn't mind being on hold 5 minutes.. so anyways.. oh you have another call.."

And all the interviews with bosses so obviously inferior to us in intelligence and ability, sitting behind that big ole' desk with the coffee cup of conceit filled with freshly brewed coffee from the eager-beaver secretary; you know the cup of which we speak-- it says "World's Best Boss" as plain as day don't you know?

And how to tell the harmlessly smug from the asshole-like boss?  The harmlessly smug will smile and say he/she bought or was given the mug as a gift.  The asshole will say with seriousness that the coffee cup was Earned.  Ugh!
'So.. sitting for the interview.. sweating.. but never let them see you sweat.. But that's a commercial tagline.. Oh why do I watch so much TV??   Breathe... Breathe..  OK.. Putting that best foot forward.. Want to appear eager but ehh' not Too eager... Smart but not to smart.  No one consciously hires people who will ultimately replace them you see..'

And the questions on time demands.. Gawd!  'Willing to work weekends?' -- (Um, not really)  Sure! -- 'How about evenings?' (No way!) -- You betcha! -- 'Come to work at 6a?' (Oh sure, I love working at the crack of fucking dawn) Can do! -- 'And how about holidays.. Christmas in particular?' --  (How about you go F yourself) Not a problem.. there when you need me!

And the pay..always comes down to the pay... 'Seems you left the salary demands blank.. what are you seeking?' --  'Well I figured you had a set salary you pay so..'  --  'No, I need to know..' (But if I say my true worth, you bastards will immediately end the interview, and if I am too low, you'll exploit me) -- 'Umm.. X dollars??' --  'Well we only start at Y dollars so..' (Then why did you ask, jerk?!)

And on and on the game is played..  How little financial reward are you willing to accept for maximum work?  How much of yourself-- your free time, how long keep your hair, etc.. are you willing to give up to the whim and will of an employer, specifically a boss you don't respect?
And once hired- where to begin??  This is what you're to wear to work... and this is where you are to sit.. and this is what you say when you answer the telephone..  and this is when you may eat lunch.. and this is when you may have your break.. and if you finish your work early, you are to do other busy work until allowed to leave.. 'Nods... Good puppy'

'And I know you've been on time for 3000 days in a row.. But see, you're late today!! And we just can't have people coming in when they feel, you understand.. So don't let it happen again...'

And the ultimate insult expressed by an employer if one ever tries to stand their ground to a boss once hired: 'It IS a free country..  can always quit if you don't like the pay or conditions..' (insert punch-to-face smiley here)

Yes, people are funny creatures -- put up with a lot of shit and utter nonsense they wouldn't tolerate from friends or family in the hopes of 'winning' something that deep down they truly do not want or desire -- employment.

But that's the system isn't it?  How its always been..  What does it take to get people to work and kept tied down to their jobs?   Well, we always have good ole' Inflation working for the System's behalf to keep the prices of everything going up and up so very few can live long periods on their savings...

Then there's the unwritten rules of hiring with Rule #1 in bold print:  Never hire someone immediately--  it sets bad precedent!  Make em' squirm... make em' feel insecure..  Last thing one wants is a worker so confident in him/herself and the job market that they'll quickly get a new job, that they develop the courage to be openly defiant and tell his/her boss to Fuck themselves!  So it must be as hard and lengthy an ordeal as possible to gain employment.
Then there's Rule #2:  The best employees to control are those with need and those who lie.   An employee who needs to keep his/her health insurance or even better (for employers) has a very ill child in need of constant medical care, is very easy to manipulate and over-work.  Don't want to lose those benefits, right?

And those who lie on their resumes-- make up education and job experiences that don't exist..  Trust us, even if you are hired, the company still does the background checks and as long as your position isn't that of vital importance where your fudged-up skills are truly needed, a company will hire you.

To them you are gold because anytime you seek a raise or anything better for yourself, you'll be denied and pointed out that you lied and should be grateful to get what you have.

And if you ever are injured on the job, sexually harassed and/or wrongly terminated without just cause, well-- guess what?  Company can say they just found out you didn't go to Harvard like you claimed... Thus you're not such an honest Injun' are you?  And if you'd lie on a resume, well..  imagine what else you'd lie about...

See how insidious companies can be?  Oh wait--you all work or have worked for a living.. you already knew..
So its just funny.. we all want to work... we actually actively wake up in the morning and seek it out.. and we all want those job numbers to sincerely improve so there's more positions for us to send eventual un-replied resumes to,etc... but then it sorta becomes that warning of 'Careful what you wish/hope for.. you just might get it'