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Wednesday, July 23, 2014

Secret Rules of TV Ads or "Are You Smarter than A White Male?"

Because we hate TV commercials so much, we thought we'd spend today's posting talking about the mostly unspoken rules of Status in an ad.

Who gets respect?  Who is treated as a moron or buffoon?  Who is the butt of the joke in an ad?

The following status rules apply to advertising today, especially TV commercials and is virtually 100% accurate..  And when you start really paying attention to those annoying 15sec ad spots that interrupt the programs and sports, you will see the patterns too..

And it all starts with the following keystone:

There is no one depicted in ads to be stupider or more of a goofball or naive imbecile than a 30 to 40-something white man who is married with children...
From this advertising Truth all the secret rules follow..

If there is an ad with a married couple, the woman is always smarter

If the ad is with a father and his son/daughter, the child is always smarter

If the ad is with a father and an infant or newborn, even they are smarter..  Computers are just used to simulate the baby talking as the voice-over corrects or informs the Dad
Even animals and inanimate objects are smarter than a Caucasian man; Ex: The AFLAC commercials

Now here's the kicker..  The elderly father also knows more than the middle aged son.

So if this was reality which it isn't, a male baby pops out of the womb utterly brilliant and gets progressively dumber until he is married with kids and a full-time job and then once the hair turns white and the sex drive disappears, he is now intelligent again...

We continue..

If a commercial depicts 'Mom' and her child, then Mom knows best
When an ad has men of different races, the black male is Always more intelligent, self-assured and better groomed..  Always

This rule is especially the case with young men..

Look at any beer commercial..  The white guys look like complete filthy, smelly slobs who live in their parents basement and don't even know how make their own beds..

The black men are dressed refined... clean shirt, nice blazer, well groomed..
When a product is being sold like a car and the 'salesperson' is presented along with the shoppers,  it will usually be a black male selling to a white couple or a white woman selling to a black couple.

When the black male is selling to a white couple, the white man is the dumb or insecure one of the three

When the white woman is selling to a black couple, the black man actually becomes the 'dumbest' here but its very subtle and more where he gives decision making power to her.

So while black men are always depicted as smarter and more 'with it' than white men, the black woman is depicted as always smarter than her black partner.

With interracial couples of black man/white woman, neither is 'dumb' but where its white man/black woman, the white man is less secure in himself
If there's black and white women in the same ad, the white woman is 'dumber'. This is why you rarely if ever see a commercial with a middle aged black woman and elderly white woman because now you have no one to play the fool.

And if there's ever an ad depicting violence or aggression like showing a burglar while selling a home security service, the 'criminal' must always be white..

Continuing once again..

The Hispanic/Asian/East Asian, etc.. is always smarter than the Caucasian..
Gender and family rules still apply so a Hispanic woman is smarter and stronger than her husband and an Asian child knows more than her parents.

No one of religious faith is to ever be represented in an ad unless it is to mock and then pretty much it will be a Christian

No person of Arabic background is Ever to be teased in any way, shape or form by anyone

No obvious Jewish person is ever to be represented in any way in commercials unless its a crusty elderly person complaining i.e. ads for heartburn medications, etc..
As for gay couples, neither partner is ever to be mocked or implied as 'dumb' in any way..  The straight person will usually know less

The only exception would be a gay couple depicted with a child and of course he/she would know more than the parents..  This would be done extremely respectfully though..

Lastly all commercials must depict as many different racial, ethnic and gender groups as humanly possible because its all about maximum representation with minimal effort...

Advertisers believe a person of a particular background will not buy a product unless they see themselves represented in the ad, even if its some extra in the far background without a speaking role depicted for half a second
None of these rules is about respect or tolerance or any noble endeavor..

Its about a world where everyone, even though on welfare, has purchasing power and like Pac Man gobbling up all the power pellets possible, these corporations who do and say and depict whatever false realities necessary to get your money

And if you're middle age, white, married and have kids, there is no bigger emasculated idiot than you in commercial-land..