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Wednesday, May 6, 2015

A Grumpy Cat perspective on Holidays

Yesterday's post got some interesting responses from those I know..

It ran the gamut from 'Totally Agree' to being called a 'Grump' to being referred to as a 'Debbie Downer', which overall was quite funny..

I don't know what one would call it --  being a cynic or pragmatist, respecting historical and cultural/religious tradition or one who just wants to "Keep it Real!"..

But almost on par with the disgust I feel over the crooks and the banksters and the scum politicians who run our cities, states and preside over this nation, I also see a very lax populace who just doesn't seem to care or value anything other than the constant pursuit of fun and frivolity.
In the Jewish faith, the holidays of Rosh Hashana and You Kippur are very somber holidays and not only do non-Jews have absolutely no desire to participate or share in it, but many so-called Jews also do their best to avoid doing what their supposed to..

But..   If someone could figure out a way to connect those two holidays with drinking lots of beer or bars offer say 75% off jello shots to mark the occasion, then I'm positive those two Jewish holidays would be a massive success in terms of secular society getting in on the 'fun'

Ridiculous yes?

Then why the Hell are Protestants, Jewish people and every other religion and ethnicity in the world celebrating St. Patrick's Day!!
St Patrick was responsible for introducing Christianity (modern Catholicism) and spreading the gospel of Christ into a then pagan Ireland.  He was a Christian missionary and he ultimately baptized thousands of people in his life

If a person does not believe in Christ as god or his validity and specifically of Irish descent, you have Absolutely NO business celebrating this day.

But of course you have restaurants and pubs offer 'green beer' at discount and even misguided Athiests will join in the celebration

If you look at the holidays that fill the annual calender, with maybe a couple exceptions, the ones people care about 'participate' in involve the combination of drinking and/or having sex
Let's break it down Honestly:

New Year's Eve --  Everyone drinks and gets wild to celebrate an event that lasts 60 seconds i.e. a ball dropping

Martin Luther King's B-Day  -- A contrived holiday to appease blacks and white guilters in which people celebrate his positions on social equality via Civil Rights while completely and intentionally ignoring his other beliefs on economic equality via Socialistic wealth/income redistribution

Confederate Heroes Day  -- This used to be celebrated annually throughout the South on Jan 18th.  Enough generations have gone by where they deny their heritage and the only thing 'Southern' about most Southerners is a love for NASCAR and fried food.

Valentine's Day -- The drinking is more wine than beer and if all the cards, flowers, gifts and fancy dinners didn't lead to fucking, most men wouldn't bother with it
Mardi Gras -- Without excessive drinking and the chance for men to see women show their breasts in order to get cheap bead necklaces, no one in America would even know what the holiday event is

St Patrick's Day -- Without green beer and other drinking gimmicks, the world would care as much as those from Northern Ireland do

Administrative Professionals Day (really should be called Secretaries' Day)  -- I was going to attack this stupid 'holiday' but Olive Garden gave out a 20% off email coupon for lunch to honor it and I saved $$, so..

Passover -- Too depressing for non-Jews.. Who wants to give up eating yummy bread and 'celebrate' being in slavery for 400yrs.. Yuk..  Plus Jewish wine can not compare to a nice Chardonnay or Cabernet
Good Friday/Easter --  Some celebrate the holiday as it was meant.. Others stock up on Cadbury Creme Eggs (guilty on that one)

Cinco de Mayo -- If the US chose to make the 1814 Battle of New Orleans into a holiday and restaurants/bars figured how to attach alcohol consumption to honor the event, then we'd have our own variation called 'Ocho de Enero'  (January 8th)

Mother's Day -- Isn't the greatest 'present' for a Mom simply having you as a son or daughter?  Why the need to buy additional presents that never will match You

Memorial Day --  Was called Decoration Day and meant Solely to honor Civil War dead but if we had a special day for every war we send troops to die, we'd have another dozen 'holidays' or as the public calls it 'Yay, no work!' day
Flag Day -- If you do anything special on this day in mid June, you are a statistical rarity

Father's Day --  If your Dad does not golf or go fishing, God help you trying to find a gift

4th of July -- It's Birth of America Day. It is not an excuse to celebrate emancipation from slavery, 19th cent. immigration into Ellis Isl., LGBT rights, religious freedom or any modern social agenda cause of the day.

Labor Day -- Was originally promoted by the Central Labor Union and the Knights of Labor on May 1st of each year to mark remembrance of the Haymarket Massacre on May 4th 1886 where 4 workers died, 70 injured fighting the police to protest an 8 hour work day

Think about that while sitting on the beach..
President Grover Cleveland feared that commemorating Labor Day on May 1 could become an opportunity to commemorate the affair and embolden unions so the Bastard made the official holiday in September.

Grandparents' Day -- Gawd..  Well at least you don't have to buy them gifts.

Rosh Hashana & Yom Kippur --  Like Passover, holidays are too sad for non-Jews to involve themselves in; no excuses to drink or partake in 25% off sales.  Plus who wants to fast for 24 hours?  Double-Yuk!
Columbus Day --  Great guy.. No really he was..  He is the reason all us non-indigenous people live here in this hemisphere..  Of course the PC shits say he was 'bad' so guess that means no 'Buy 1 Margarita, Get 1 Free' type promotions to honor the day..

Halloween -- Wonderful holiday.. Until you turn 12..  Not so much 'fun' when you have to now buy the candy for stranger children who have been taught by parents not to smile or say hello to you.. Just take the free 'entitled' candy and move on..

Veterans' Day -- A holiday Solely to honor World War I dead; originally called Remembrance Day; More people celebrate Memorial Day than this holiday..  Something to do with warmer weather and easier to go to the beach and have a BBQ picnic
~ "It could be worse.. I could be holding a light saber"

Thanksgiving -- The day when the Pilgrims and Indians came together to share in a feast of food most of us today would throw up if we had to digest, then they all got together to watch 9 hours of NFL football.. Oh wait..

Black Friday -- America's #1 favorite 'holiday'

Cyber Monday -- America's #2 favorite 'holiday'

Hanukkah -- Here's a cheery holiday of sorts for non-Jews to really embrace except for the fact that getting underwear, socks or books is never looked upon as 'fun' gifts, especially if all 8 will turn out similar

Christmas -- America's #3 favorite Holiday

Kwanzaa --  a 100% fictitious 'holiday' that even most blacks do not acknowledge

And there you have it...

Hmm.. OK, maybe I am a bit of a 'Grump'..