Search This Blog

Monday, October 26, 2015

A Million Mags & Nothing Worth A Look-See

~ An exception to the rule.. A magazine worth reading with a Great person on cover worth reading about..

I used to love magazines..

Reading them.. Subscribing to them.

Even back the days when I was going to school at the age when school-bus dependent, I enjoyed taking them with me and looking at them

And then..

Dunno..  Maybe I grew up?
Or just became very conscious after 9/11 that every single magazine cut their pages by 25-40% and that included number of articles and less quality writers working cheaper for such magazines..

And it all got stupider and more showy and more gossipy..

Did I change that much (for the better) in the last 10-15 years or the quality of the weekly & monthly publications (for the worse)?

Or Both?

I was tempted to join a magazine service again.. one of those where for X dollars a month you have access to 150+ magazines on your iPad and I keep being bombarded with free trials so..

But then I looked at the catalog of recent mags & their covers and one word came to mind ..   Yukk!!
So I will take the opportunity to vent on some of the more glaring mag covers and of course give my two-cents..

You may totally disagree with every opinion uttered but to A&G, we look at that as a positive, never a negative..   Annoyance and irritation lead to passion and that's a good thing..

Allure -  On the cover is Kate Hudson with the words "Her Golden-Hued, Fairy Dusted Life"...  HUH??  

What is so wonderful about a egotistical Bitch who has a child with her husband, then cheats on him which leads to divorce, then has a another child a few years later out of wedlock with a man she breaks up with two years after??

Poor fucked up kids..
Bike & Bicycling -- Can you believe there are not one but Two magazines devoted to this!  I'm sure in another couple years it will be joined by 'Unicycling Monthly' and 'Trike' - a magazine for kids and their tricycles

Bloomberg Markets -- Of course leave it to a financial publication to put a corrupt, evil parasite cunt on their cover..  No not Hillary.. someone worse...

Fed Chair Janet Yellen..

The world of finance is really no different than the scene in Lady & Tramp where all the dirty, filthy stray animals converge at the rear of the restaurant for whatever free leftovers and other crap the owner wishes to toss their way..

Yellen is the deeply ugly old woman who holds the bucket of slop (interest rate go up/down?) and the mongrels (Wall Street traders and speculators) wag their tails and engorge on the slop filth (by pushing the markets higher)
Cooking Magazines -- I'm just bunching the 2-3 dozen needless recipe-filled magazines here into one quick vent..

1)  If you're attractive and still kept your figure, your husband isn't going to care if you serve him black-burnt eggs and raw bacon.. He will still want you.  And if you're a wonderful mother, your family will still love you if you serve pop-tarts for Thanksgiving..

2) The only real recipe to remember in an emergency..

Take two slices of bread.. smear peanut jelly on one.. jelly on other..  press together and cut into adorable squares or triangles..  Serves 1-2
Cosmopolitan --  Those Fucking Kardashians are on the cover.. Every single classless Armenian ethnic one of them..  

Just can't say the word 'Kardashian' without saying 'Fucking' which of course was Kim's claim to fame.. Fucking a black man and video-taping it for purposes of a porn release while pretending it was for the couple's privacy

Amazing how long she's been famous for being a whore that only takes black seed

And Cosmo calls them 'America's First Family'

And sadly these Fucking Kardashians and their rotten vile lives still sell magazines..  

No wonder al Qaeda hates us.. It is not because of our freedom.. Its because we hurt their brains with our collective Western vapidness!
Dr Oz The Good Life --  Why does this guy have his own magazine?  You'd think if a Quack had a monthly mag, there'd at least be stories or pictures of adorable duckies

Everyone knows how to live a healthy life.. Few to none wish to do it..

1)  Maintain a heathy body weight
2)  Exercise even moderately (light walking)
3) Avoid fatty and sugary foods
4) Don't smoke

There.. Now everyone can live till they're 100 and have feeding tubes shoved down their throats by hospitals who'd prefer to pull the plug if more cost-effective
Elle -- I never thought I would see a human being who's face closely resembled Miss Piggy until I discovered a year or so ago this talentless, classless comedienne named Amy Schumer.

Now the fatty-faced corpulent pig adorns Elle a magazine meant for women who are attractive and yes, slender..

How the hell is this GD person so popular?

And what ever happened to beautiful refined women of beauty, class and dignity like Grace Kelly or Bo Derek?   Why must women have to look at scum like Schumer and be told That is 'beauty'??
Essence -- I'd never bother to look at a black magazine but the cover gave me a double-take.. I thought it was RuPaul, the famous cross-dresser..

Turns out it is 'Empire's' Tariji Henson

Its funny.. on the cover it also says 2016 Election Preview..  Would be far more accurate if it said 2016 Democrat Nominee Preview since around 95% of blacks vote in mindless lockstep Democrat and they vote for a praying mantis with 'D' attached before ever voting a human being with 'R'

And if the praying mantis happens to be a person (Hillary) then all the easier for them to decide..
Field & Stream - On this month's cover is a beautiful proud majestic deer

Every issue should basically be the same topic:  'How to kill innocent, defenseless living creatures that never did a fucking thing to you just for sport/fun'

Glamour -  Sandra Bullock is on the cover

Note to publishers:  your magazine is called Glamour!  It is supposed to be about Glamourous women!  That means your cover is supposed to be um.. you know.. a 'Deeply Ugly woman with pug nose free' zone

Also gotta love all the sex advise..  Every magazine seems to have them..

If women truly believed the shit these empty magazines wrote on intimacy and men truly believed the crap which comes out of GQ, Men's Health, etc,

Well we certainly wouldn't have to worry about over-population problems..  Just live in a happy world chock full of frustrated virgins
GQ --  Taylor Swift is the cover gal meaning it took people behind the scenes hours upon hours to make her look sexy enough via hair & makeup to put in the cover

Because that is one thing Swift is not... Sexy..  No one who looks and acts wholesome as milk and reacts to every breakup by writing endless songs about it, is 'sexy'

I do give the people behind the scenes props though.. She actually looks like she has something of a chest in the cover photo..  I know its all illusionary but.. as they say in ghetto ebonics, 'Dat take sum Mad Skillz, Yo'

Gold & Golf Digest -- Ugh!!  Two magazines devoted to the ultimate recreational activity for corporate conformity

The reason why it is not a sport?  If extremely overweight men with pacemakers & comb-overs and those over 65yrs old can play it regularly, it is Not truly a sport!

Golf Digest has a story on 'Shake the Shanks'.. Yes, take a spoon or two of Pepto Bismol and drink lots of water to avoid dehydration..  Done..
Jeez.. I'm only on 'G'  This is starting to turn into work..  I better do more summarizing..

Notice how all these magazines are sooo overly-positive?  Not normally positive or inspirational but really forced down the reader's throat..

X has found new love.. new happiness!;  Y is stronger than ever!;  Z is bouncing back and feeling beautiful...

How can anyone with half a brain read that shit?   And yet notice it is women's magazines that treat women far stupider and more shallow than any gender-neutral magazine would ever Dare to do!
Also, notice there is not a single conservative mainstream magazine out there?

Yes there's 'National Review' but that is a Republican publication and one does not have to necessarily be or vote Rep to hold some or many conservative values about life, family, society or the direction of the country..

Every mainstream magazine is liberal..  If not politically but socially and often its not even noticed..

Not a single mainstream magazine ever writes anything that is positive pro-life, or pro-faith or anti-greed and anti-materialism..

They're all varying degrees of New Yorker and Vanity Fair
On the cover of Teen Vogue, there's a story on Elle Fanning, sister of Dakota Fanning and among a long long list of precocious, me-first children who get pushed into the entertainment industry by greedy parents..

 And her cover quote is "I know trans-gender kids and I am honored to help tell their story"


First of all, while being gay is genuine, being trans-gender is not!  I know some out there will strongly disagree but as I've stated using Bruce Jenner as an example, no matter how many breast implants you have or how much estrogen you take, you are NOT a woman if you still possess a penis
Second, I may sound super-old in saying this (which I am not) but what the Fuck is that topic doing in a magazine aimed at 12-17 year olds?

Its hard enough being a devoted parent raising children and keeping them safe from all the predatory evils in one's real world while working and keeping the family together..  How is one supposed to have time to be conscious of all he/she reads, watches, listens to and/or is exposed to on Internet?!!

Well that last horrible magazine did the trick..  Looks like no free-trial for me

Just too much evil out there on the covers and inside the folds between the endless ads..

Too many toxins out there for one strong mind to filter from infecting and not a single magazine that appeals to one's intelligence, creativity, imagination and desire for a better tomorrow where consumption is not involved.